Hold

What can I hold on to?
The rain I so love
In its beautiful journey from the sky
Screaming silently as it
Plummets
From the grey clouds where it
Resides?
I reach up my hands to grasp it
But the precious water runs
Straight through
My numb and
Weary
Palms
What can I hold onto?
The sand which
Clings to my skin
Pretending to care
As I
Build castles of
Trust and secrets and
Truths
Out of its
Muddied grains?
The sand which washes away with
Everything I have given and
Entrusted to it
When a cruel wave comes
Crashing over
Me
Stealing my most treasured
Hopes and dreams and
Love
Hiding them
Far
Far
Away from
Me
Leaving me shivering and
Alone
On my knees
By the
Lonesome
Abandoned
Shore?
What can I hold on to?
The fragile snow that
Dances about
Through the
Icy air
Floating gracefully
Quietly and
Elegantly
Down
Down
Down
Into my
Anxious
Palms
Tinting them pink?
But how can I survive by
Grasping that which is
Too cold to
Bear?
In the end
Those delicate crystals
Melt away
I watch as they abandon me
So so
Quickly
Before my very eyes
My hot tears stinging my
Frozen skin
As they fall into
The the places
That were once occupied by
The crystalline flakes
Which leave me
More bitter and empty
Than before
What can I hold on to?
Or am I simply
Meant to
Fall?

-Megan M. Phillips