Carousel

Spinning
Spinning
Dizzily
Look up
Down and
Behind
There’s a person I
Loved and secretly
Still do
There’s a traitor who
Tore my heart in
Two
Spinning
Spinning
There’s a time
I was happier
There’s a place
I belonged
There’s a song
Full of hopeful notes
And I knew exactly how to sing
Along
Until the strings
Snapped and
My voice was
Gone
Spinning
Spinning
There’s two trees
One strong and new
One ancient and dying
The new one
Bursting up freely
From the dirt and gravel
Where it had been
Buried
So long
While the other
Withers in its
Shadow
What does the new tree
Feel?
Guilt, maybe
But also a
Strong sense of
Pride
While the deteriorating one
Can only cry
Wishing it had accomplished more
In its meaningless life
But instead
It had stayed rooted in
Place till the
Very day it
Died
Spinning
Spinning
Stars dancing with the
Birds above
I used to join them
Time was like a
Lenient parent
Nodding its head
Granting me permission to
Fly
But now it’s a
Controlling one
Yanking me down from the sky
Time to work
Time to give
Time to steal and hurt
No time to think
No time to care
No time to heal
No time to stop
Unless it’s to
Stop feeling
Spinning
Spinning
I’m glued to this broken carousel
Of change
Forever
As life twists the lever farther and
Farther each year
It laughs maniacally as it watches how much
Faster it spins
My thoughts and reason are
Flung out from me as I
Lose control
Spinning
Spinning
They land on their backs
Cry out then
Scatter
Spinning
Spinning
Nothing is the same
Each time the carousel makes its
Cycle
Why is it
That what I had just passed
Is so so
Different?
Spinning
Spinning
Why is it that I
Feel alone here?
There are so many
Seats on this ride
Yet they are
Empty?
Spinning
Spinning
Perhaps the motions are
Getting to me
Do I have any logic
Remaining in my
Tossed and battered
Soul?
Spinning
Spinning
Yet I never let go
Of this wretched handle
Perhaps I believe I must keep
Spinning
Spinning
In order to cycle back and
Recapture that which
Escaped permanently
Long ago
Spinning
Spinning
It is painful but
I am far more
Afraid of
Letting go
Spinning
Spinning
Will it ever stop?
Spinning
Spinning
The more I spin
The more I believe that
The answer is
No
-Megan M. Phillips
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6 thoughts on “Carousel

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